and yet again, I dreamt of my past, got struck with the excruciation of betrayal and shattered trust, I lost confidence in her taking care of me, I fear for her words and actions that suggested Im expendable, stupidity befalls me, vulnerable, weak, I saw her words for him, and it keeps haunting me, is this the price I have to pay for being GOOD? Is this the price I have to pay for being responsible? For being up about and straight? Is this what I get for all the sacrifices, the lonely moments, the homesickness, the "i want to quit work but I cant" scenarios?

Cruel,

I deserve more I think, but she's too impatient, immature, stubborn to even appreciate what had happened, Instead, she validates the actions and blames me for that decision, God kill me now if all of her and her deceiving sister's accusations are true,

Its over and done I know she admits, but I just could'nt have closure, I need her to be more than what she is now, but I also know that she cant, thats why Im hopeless, fearful she will live up to what she said, Im expendable, if only she could appreciate, If only I could get some importance above everything/everyone else